This will not hurt

I try and think of ways i can do this that will not hurt. So i drink ...1, 2, 3, 4, i can feel the effects drowning in on me.5,6,7, i cant think any longer....i get into a car and drive down the road i hit a car head on down the road. I live she dies i grieve. the pain fills me with every bit of sadness. I thought this would be painless but all this did was to find more sadness.