Neverland's Youth

Mm. Charming piece! The flow for me was rocky at a few points, but that is just my interpretation. The message and vocabulary was great. Awesome job!

Very, very interesting.

The only thing I would change is

Father Time wept in salted tears

to

Father Time wept salted tears

the 'in' feels like it's only there for syllable's sake and it's not that flowy with it included.

Very clever writing and ditction.

Bret

Lovely poem, charming even. I do however have one piece of advice. The words were a bit stilted, the flow, while there seemed interupted.

This has a very sombre feel to it in my opinion. As if nature is crying and somewhat depressed. I liked the imagery very much, it was well described. Honestly, I think shattered and heartbeats portray a slightly cliche idea, maybe it could me described better.
Thanks for sharing!!

This is beautiful, Kaylee! Love the creativity and continual flow, really awesome piece!