Wow very creative and dark this is a great poem keep it up

laura

I thought this poem was interesting and well written, but like maybe a suggesttion would be to break up the poem into different stanzas and maybe add a few comas to keep the flow. other than that nice poem, easy and enjoyablke to read with great depth behid every word. ----tara

I really enjoyed this poem... it had a great story behind it & the ending was partly unexspected.

The flow was great bar one part.. I dnt no how you'd change it but on the 1st stanza where you rote..
'eyes are red from havn't slept'

I think maybe you need a new word in there instead of 'Haven't..

I dnt no jus my thorts but very well done i loved it.

Keep it up.
*Hunny*

Thanks so much. I'll think it over, see if I can come up with another word.

I appreciate you taking the time to comment though so thanks =)