What went through my mind that night...

I get the knife from the kitchen draw,
Gripping my teeth I slide it along my arm,
No cause for alarm,
I just want my life to end...
But it won't go deep enough,
What's wrong with me I want die,
I need a *bleepin'* saw,
Not this cruddy knife,
It's no good for ending my life!

I lay on my bedroom floor,
Begging for my friends help,
To kill me;
Their pleads for me to stop I try to ignore,
They just don't see...
See my pain,
My stress,
My depression,
My fate,
I need a guarantee,
That when I die,
No-one will cry...
A guarantee 99% to occur,
That everyone will continue on as they once were.

I grip the handle,
Screaming in my head,
I want to kill myself; I want to be dead...
Why can't I just blow out my flame, on my ever melting candle?

I can't,
I am too weak,
I can't bear to pierce my skin,
Death is one unknown technique...

The knife drops,
-How selfish I am,
I have failed myself,
-You are stupid Sam!!!

A talk with friends,
A break from my family,
And my death wish slowly ends...
But the next day I will have to face it all over again.

*My step over the line into emo-hood, if thats what you'd call it...
I couldn't do it, as I didn't want to die alone.*