Wow thatss so deep! is it true?

Keenan!.its fab.is it true?

Keenan!.its fab.is it true?

I dnt believe that keenan.it cnt b bout *m. u know .

I like what you're doing here. It needs tweeking but not that much.

Firstly I would fix the puctuation and grammar. Capital letters at the start of each line, periods at the end of each statement/sentence and so on. Punctuation makes a poem feel complete and helps the reader pause and think where you want them to.

We don't say lies, we tell them, so change said to told.

You say I am not worth twice in two lines in two separate stanzas. I can see what you are trying to do but it's not so good, think of another way to express your feelings in one of these lines in both stanzas. Repetition to keep a theme is good, but not in this way.

I am not worth it,
I am lower than life

I am not worth this cut
The blade is above me

The contrast in lower and above gives the reader something to absorb and think about. Try something to that effect.

Ask yourself this:

What can you write to make this poem stand over and above the other poems like this?

Bret

It makes me feel so sad i love the cliff hanger ending. Keep it up babe Cassie x

Very sad poem...I liked it..im so sorry if its true...i can't think of any critique cz Bret already told you to wot 2 improve on...anywat Keep it up hun! Don't worry everything will be fine! Take Care
And
Keep Smiling

Much LOVe
Deadly xx

Wow htta fact you almost loved her made it more real, idk why but nice jobb. is the poem called stone, bc you're tryign to be a stone and not let the feelings out??

lissa

Great wording very sad poem hope u dont really feel like this cause u r a great person u need to love u.

Thanks for your comment on "Fed up"

I like this one to for 4rl ~melissaraye~

I really like this one and it seems almost real yet not so much....Good Job

Beck