Not Good Enough

It's coming back again
I knew deep down it would
Depression never stays away for long
I stayed happy as long as I could

But it's so hard to look on the bright side
When there's nothing left for you
The blade starts looking better and better
When you're running out of things to hold on to

My mistakes are attacking my head
I can't make them go away
The more I ignore it, the more it hurts
Tears are the only way

Past regrets are pulling me in
My imperfections seem to be growing
No matter how much I'm hurting inside
I can't let the pain be showing

I push it to the back of my head
And try to keep it there
But before long I grow weak
It becomes too much for me to bare

Just one look into that mirror
And everything comes rushing back
How horrible my life can be
And how I've gone so far off track

I look contently at myself
There's no beauty lying before me
Mistakes and a worthless being
Are the only things I can see

I look at all the medals
That hang around my room
For sports I'm still not good enough at
Instead of accomplishment I feel gloom

These things I should be proud of
They should make me feel good and tough
But my parent's words repeat in my mind
"You're good, but that's still not good enough"...

*I'm sorry if this poem got off track and is confusing, it was really more of a vent. Still I hope its alright.