Hi lorna, was expecting another of yr delightful bite sized little poems, slight on word yet full of deeper meanings and then i saw this. Ummm interesing. Starts off with her being abandoned, brilliantly and origionaly conveyed in the lines `knees up to my chin....cryin over you`. i can not only picture her in this state quite clearly in my minds eye, i can also feel her anguish and despair. Clever.
I was expecting you to dwell on that loneliness but then u have the poor girl top herself! Again the imagery u use here, bumping into things, feeling drowsy puts the reader straight into the situation. You never seem to use too many words in yr poems, never go to great lengths to explain a situation. you always use clever, brilliantly descriptive clips of a situation or a certain emotional state to great effect. Everytime i read one of yr poems im never failed to be impressed.
Now i didnt know where this poem was going next, love to be surprised, keeps me interested and boy did you surprise! You then have this poor girl burned alive at her own cremation! The last 7 or so lines drift into an almost surreal-like nightmare. I know this can be taken two ways, firstly she really IS at her own funeral (creepy), or yr using this macarb setting as a metaphor for her hellish plight. Losing someone that she loved, was intimate with and then discarded by. And then with her last breath shes avowing revenge!
This was excellent lorna, you never fail to surprise me with yr verse. You always take a situation, say like this girls pain and loneliness, and turns it into something unique. given it a 5. if i could vote for it twice i would. yr very gifted lorna