My mind is throbbing and my hands shaking cold.
The hours pass quickly as I'm growing old.
I really want to say, I swear that is true
But something, just something, keeps my heart from you.
My eyes are adjusted to darkness and my lips are dry.
My mouth doesn't speak those words, and my eyes do not cry.
My heart is unsure of where I tread
My mind tells me often, I'm better off dead.
This isn't solitaire that I play, poker is my game.
I make it clear, this is my trade, I have a name.
He is my Jack of All Trades, standing by my side.
But theres something I hold deeper for him that I hide.
Somhow, just somehow, you keep me here.
Tell me, How... You are not near.
So far away, yet the best I've ever known.
Somehow I fear, my deep feelings have shown.
My fingers become numb, my shoulders tense.
Not weilding my emotions is my defense.
I ignore the words that you speak to me
The only thing I want, can never be.
Why do I chose to block out the person who actually cares about me?
There must be a reason why my stubborn heart refuses to see...
My arms grow weak, and kness buckle beneath my weight.
I have so many things to say, but it\'s far too late.
Knuckles turn white, still trying to hold strong.
Trying to remember what I discard all along.
I don't know why I do this, no clue for repairs.
What I feel can be between us, nothing compares.
I want to make this possible, but Im sure it will fall
I don't want to break what we have, no matter how small.
I am still happy, just to know who you are..
You still make my sadness disappear no matter how far.
I've lost so many people already, after I told them this truth.
I just don't want the same thing to happen to you.
As my fear grows heavy, my mind sets on one affair.
Out in the open to make it distinct and leaving it all there...
My anxiety will overcome my mind, briefly happiness fades
Telling my Jace of all Trades, he is truely my Ace of Spades.
(I need a better tittle. I am open to suggestions. **Reasoning for title: I was watching my brother play poker and he kicked me off when I was about to tell someone I liked them.** Unfortunately, if this said someone ever happens to read this, they will know its them... xP)
