The Reflection

Look into a mirror
Discussed by what I see,
Looking at a reflection
That I wish was not me.
Pale scars cover the body
Like branches of a tree
The physical signs of a curse
From which I never shall be free.
Have an excuse for every mark
Both those I create and those from he,
The man who is meant to be my father
The man who beets me, no matter how I plea.

Keep looking at the reflection
See things which are not there,
How I'm fat and ugly
Convinced that is why no one does care.
Feel guilty that I ate today
Of each crumb I feel aware,
But the dizziness and hunger
Had become too much to bear.
Hate my lack of discipline
At my weakness I do despair,
They say this illness is killing me
But I do no longer care.

Look deeper into the image
See the darkness of it's mind,
All the pain and the memories
In which it is entwined.
See things that are meant to be hidden
Which others are never meant to find,
See all that has occurred
At the mercy of mankind.

See the abusive father
The storm that raged each night,
The uncaring mother
Who ignored all the plight,
See the feared brother
Who used others to gain delight.
All these memories come rushing back
And old habits they do ignite.
Rushing back, engulfing me
Tempt me and invite.

Looking in the mirror again
Tears running down my face,
No longer wanting to remember
Desperate to leave this place.
Look once more at the reflection
See only a disgrace,
An unwanted individual
Who long since fell from grace.

Look at the reflection
In one hand there is a blade,
Pills and alcohol litter the ground
No longer feel afraid.
As the memories grow distant
And my life starts to fade
A part of me fights back
Wishing I could have stayed.
The mirrors image looks desperate
Feeling terrified and betrayed,
But it is too late now
No one could help, no one to aid.

When help finally arives
The mirror is the first thing they see,
But all they see in the reflection
Is a lifeless body, that was once me.