Why Momma?

Starlight starbright
how i wish i could sleep tonight
but i lay here, wide awake
listening to every step momma takes

i hear every word she says
about how she wished we were dead
daddy\'s already gone out the door
i guess we were just too easy to ignore

she makes her way to my room
her footsteps fill me with dread and doom
i dont understand just what i\'ve done
to have to embrace what shes become
shes my biggest fear
my worst nightmare

she turns on the lights
and pulls down the sheets
she screams \"Why are you crying?!
i wish i\'d never had you,
you worthless peace of S#%@.\"

i plea, \"momma im so sorry.
i\'ll try harder to be good
mommy i love you\"
but this is not enough
i see her arm raise
and feel the sting of her left hook

well my sisters and brother
are all huddled in the room next door
they wish they could help, of this i am sure
but what can they do? when mommy is all alone
with their 4 year old little brother next door

years have passed
the silence remains unbroken
of childhood memories
i\'ve never told her how much she hurt me
or of the scares i still so cleverly disguise
as teenage angst or just a bitter mood
whichever best complies

i dont think i\'ll ever understand
just why she had to be this way
and to this very day
i'm still the one she blames

*this ended up being a vent more than anything....sorry it kinda got lost in emotions half way through...its not that great..oh well...