If Only

** So it may not be good but it is how i felt at the moment**

If only i could go insane
i do not know what i would gain
but people are driving me mad
I just want to be alone and sad

I can not handle any of this crap
its like I am stuck in my own trap
I want to leave and cry alone
I want to sit down and moan

My friends are away from home
I have no where to roam
I am stuck at home just sitting
just wondering and dreaming

about me,friends,family,life
if i would go back to the knife
i could drag it on my skin
it is not like it is a sin

only the lightest touch
oh do not worry i will not rush
I will be slow and take my time
it is no biggie not a crime

I want to feel this pain
i want something new to gain
I do not want to be just a person
I do not want to be a Jackson

I just want to just be me
I want to roam and fly free
I want to be noticed and known
I want to be on my own