The television is driving me nuts and there are two flies in my room that keep buzzing around and frustrating me. I am sick of watching the same thing over and over. The same television programs as last week, the same patterns over and over again, like these flies that keep buzzing around my room in the same jagged circular pattern. Bumping from wall to wall from television to the mirror. I am sick of it all, so I turn the television off and hug my knees to my chest.
[[i need to cry]]
I just want to effing go to sleep so that I can wake up tomorrow and pretend today never happened. I want to pretend it was all a dream, a nightmare. I want to tell myself that none of this happened. I want to rid myself of all stupidity.
[[Hide it all away]]
I want to pull the covers up over my head, and pull my knees up to my chest and cry. I want to cry until my eyes are swollen and red, and the tears refuse to fall from my eyes. I want to never come out, and not face anything again. I am a coward with alot of emotional baggage.
[[work]]
My feet hurt and my head does too. I am tried of standing, and it's only been one day. I already feel like crying, and I am unsure of what to do. I already feel like quitting, because I am a quitter. I'm not sure I can handle it all, I have so much stress, and too much on my mind. I am better suited for quiet jobs with less rushed movement and a place to sit. But not in an office.
[[Depression]]
I've been so sad lately and I don't know why. I can't help but get the knot in my throat and choke up. I am beginning to suffocate, will someone please untie it. My hands and tied behind my back and I am at a loss for words, and lack of speech has kept me here in this position. Someone help me cry, things aren't going to well and I am beginning to lose hope in anything good. I'm just unlucky I guess, and maybe I am not supposed to be happy...
