Misused, Mistakes

I'm punishing the one
Who I need to care about me
I see her hurting
It feels like knuckles
To the back of my head!
I'm still afraid to fall
I feel dead inside
Why don't I care
I've never been good
At showing my feelings
Or knowing how to love
Loves not a memory for me
I need to rise above it all
I'm willing to bleed for us
Please just forgive me
Should I be afraid to see
What the mirror will show
I don't even know me
I've never seen myself
I sit alone once again
I try to live for a love
That may have never been
I have a void inside
Because she wasn't here
I try top sleep again
I wonder when my pain
Will ever end
My cuts run deeper than
The cracks of an outer shell
Tell me please
Who the F.uck was
I supposed to be
If you learn to forgive me
I'll learn to love you!