Wow, you told an emotional story as if you were retelling it. I love the end, because guilt is what most survivors feel. I know when my sister was killed by a drunk driver, I felt it was my fault because I should have been there with her. The only thing is I'm not sure if the refrain is needed after every stanza. I definately like it after the first and before the last, but I'm not sure if its needed in the middle. Just my opinion. XXXXX
JL

I think you've done a wonderful job here. It is filled with emotion. Well done. xx