A Series of Unfortunate Events

There once was this guy, let's call him Ty, I was in love, or so I thought
When he gave me this ring, the most beautiful thing, with his hard earned money he bought

Until one day while he was away, his sister came to see if I was fine
I displayed the piece of jewelery and with her eyes filled with fury she screamed Hey!... that ring is mine!

Another I liked, we'll name him Mike, he was cute and over six feet tall
But from his front to his rear, I mean every where... was covered with hair except his....balls??

I broke up with him, it must be a sin, he said I broke his heart...ouch!
I couldn't take it, it was sweltering, and I was damn near melting, in the summer on his orange leather couch!

Then one day, I ran into Jay, we hadn't seen each other in a while
I knew that he dug me as he kissed and he hugged me and on his face was a big old smile

So we chatted for a few, as old friends do, but I just couldn't let him get away
He was too fine, he had to be mine, so I asked him to lunch the next day

Sitting with him at lunch, was another hunk, I said Oh, Hi, you must be Jay's brother
As I shook his hand, he said Nice to meet you, I'm Stan, then Jay stood and said.... This is my lover

So Ty was a thief and Jay loved beef, we can't forget Mike aka Chubaka
True are the stories of these lames, only thing changed were the names, I think I need a bottle of Vodka

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