Crimson Rose

by Tammie   Sep 1, 2006


As she held the rose
It slipped through her fingers
The thorns so sharp
The pain still lingers

The thorns pierced her skin
Cutting ever so deep
She held her fingers tightly
Trying not to weep

As a drop of blood falls
So does a tear
This isn't what she wanted
This was her only fear

That if she began to cry
She wouldn't be able to stop
This physical and emotional pain
Falling blood and tear drops

Remembering the memories
Reminiscing the past
Wishing the end never came
And forever actually lasts

But now time can only heal
The sorrow in her heart
The future is unknown
Let the present play its part

She decided that's what she'll do
As she puts down the rose
Crimson is its colour
Just like the blood it exposed

With the rose in its place
She stood tall and brave
Looking sadly below her
At her fathers grave

* I haven't written in ages and i had to write, but it's not my best work. I thought i would submit it anyway. The title is also not very good. But oh well.. Hope it isn't too bad. Thanks for reading =] *

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  • 17 years ago

    by MyDevotion

    The intensity that this piece ends with is astonishing! the start had he interesting and the way you finished....so sad ='( ive lost many friends close to me and been in those situations.. still 5/5 i love sad / dark poems and you can definately carry them through! =)

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I liked this one, the title actually was pretty good, it really caught my eye, you are very talented.
    much love, Tara-Kay

  • 18 years ago

    by Dumpstead

    Tammie,

    Please... Pleaasee..... use Punctuation.

    First of all, Tammie I see that you have quoted you wrote this poem under special circumstances. Please do not be upset that I do not empathize with your sitaution while commenting. Please remember that I only comment on your poem; I do it without any pre-notions.

    I feel this is better than the "Bleeding Mascara". The title is not too odd but it isn't wonderful title. I say so not beacaus of the words "Crimson Rose", but through out the poem you have referred to the rose but you have not mentioned anywhere what the rose signifies. It is a character taht occupies the center stage and does teh dancing but we readers ahve no idea whether it's a clown or a villan or the hero. Describing the rose, relating ti the sadness or grief the gril feels and fianlly lets go enough to continue with life would have made the title meaningful.

    Flow is good, better than the MAscara poem again. Simple words keep the poem light and so does not make it heavy. Nice job in weaving those simple words together to suit what you want o say. Rhyming is ok, but can be improved. Concept too is ok; vison needs a bit of work, or if you have experienced the situation first hand put more feelings into it.

    As a drop of blood falls
    So does a tear

    I dunno why, but I loved those two lines.

    Remembering the memories
    Reminiscing the past
    Wishing the end never came
    And forever actually lasts

    The above stanza should have been phrased better.

    That's all I can say.

  • 18 years ago

    by jello

    This poem is amazing. you are a good writer. keep it up
    good job

  • 18 years ago

    by FlirtingWithDeath

    OMG so sad =( You are a very good writer, this was a very moving poem hun. 5/5

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