Once upon a time...

by ♥s|a|r|a|h♥   Sep 3, 2006


**now completed**

Once upon a time,
There was a girl named Clare,
Her life was totally sublime,
She had a unique flare.

Once upon a time,
There was a boy named Jack,
He lived a life of grime,
His life was completely black.

Clare however was rich and warm,
She had a heart of gold,
She could brighten up even the darkest storm,
she was couragious and bold

Jack however was poor and cold
He had a heart of stone
He could make even the happiest person seem grim and old,
He was all but skin and bone

Clare was sweet and she was cool
She made him an offer he couldn’t refuse
All she had was just one rule
And this he couldn’t abuse

Jack was surprised by her
And agreed in any case
She refeered to him as ‘sir’
And their life kept a steady pace

Clare got him a job
And got him new clothes
But she sat down to sob
Because she realized it is he she loathes

Jack loved clare
With all his heart
He couldn’t help but stare his warm stare
All day long from end to start

Clare made a decision
And it was to be dealt
With great precision
That would make their attachment melt

Jack knew something was wrong
And called out to her
He called out to her in song
He declared his love for her

Clare had a glint in her eye
Jack however was in suspence
As she let out a great big sigh
He hoped she would let this commence

Jack was amazed
When she said ‘yes’
He was stunned and dazed
His life was no longer a mess

Clare turned and smiled
And gave jack a kiss
Her heart on top of each other it piled
‘another moment like this I never want to miss’

once upon a time,
there was a girl named clare
her life was totally sublime
she had a unique flare

once upon a time
there was a boy named jack
his life was totally sublime
his life is no longer black.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Okies...I gave it a 4/5. I thought you were trying to hard to rhyme in some (not all) places. It just made the reading a bit more difficult for me anyways lol. The flow was a bit off, but the vocab was superb in some places. Good job. Keep up the writing! =) 4/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 18 years ago

    by Landon Carter

    Oh wow.. I really enjoyed this story.. 5 for sure. Keep writing! :-)

  • 18 years ago

    by Sarah Ann

    Oh, great poem! It was such a great love story. Very powerful and different. I loved the word use> Though the flow could have been a bit better, it was great, nonetheless. Keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This poem has a unique format with a flawles flow. The content is a romantic testament to the power of love It is excellent

  • 18 years ago

    by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX

    5/5 wow i love the words u use i mean that was relly good

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