WELL;; THiS WAS A GOOD POEM;; KEEP iT UP. |
Excellent pooem. Rhyming was great from start to finish and so was the flow. One thing I would change though would be to include more desciptive words.(just a suggestion) Anyway I really like the last stanza, I think it closes the poem really well. [5/5] Keep it up! && Take care! |
by Letty
This was a sad poem. I liked the poem, but I thought that in this one the rhyming scheme was forced. I can tell that you did put a lot of emotion into it, especially anger. But I think that it could have been better. I can relate to the emtions that you are going through in this poem, because I have been down that same road myself. When we write it is good to use that emotion, but sometimes we are so emotional that we tend to force the words out onto the paper or computer screen, whatever. Whenever you get to emotional when writing you should just relax, take a few deep breaths, and let the words flow from the pen, like the water flows in the river. Don't get me wrong I liked the poem, and it held emotion and all, but I don't believe it was your best. I hope my comment dosen't upset you, and I know that you would rather that I be truthful with you. I make the same mistakes sometimes myself and I would appreciate it, (if you ever read one of my poems)that you be truthful with me as well. I'm giving you a 4/5 because it was good, but it wasn't excellent. I think that you should consider this as your first draft, rewrite it with more dedication and let the words flow. |
by aDORKable x3
*gasp* you put into words EXACTLY what happened to me!! down to the email and video games.... wow... speechless at how that mirrors my life!! great job hun!!! thanks for the comment! =) |
Awesome..i really like it |
Wow i can really relate to this poem its exactly what happened to me you did a great job of putting it down into words 5/5 <33 |