Awh, that was good.. I would advise that you make it into more of a poetry format instead of in paragraphs.. It would make it easier to read.. The descriptions are good as was the emotion.. Nice job 4/5

It is great, so beautiful
but try to separate the lines to make it longer and more beautiful
great job

Oh my...beautiful poem you penned here...flowed well with beautiful emotions...great poem..."free verse written"...

have a great day! take care!

Again with the format changes. woul;d help slightly,

very well written x