Subsiding smiles

I'm losing sanity mom, do you still see me?
These subsiding smiles are signs of bleeding.
You're not you anymore, to regretting I am bound.
I'm still lost mom, by you I have not been found.

Slowly I can tell mom, your hurting deep inside.
Laughing is all I've got to cover the tears I've cried.
I think I am forgetting how it feels to show true joy,
You use to make me stronger mom, and now you just destroy.

You're in the other room mom, sick out your head.
I'm just in here thinking how I would be better off dead.
I wish you took the time to look upon my eyes.
Is that to much to ask mom? I just want you to hear my cries.

Darkening my thoughts mom, to a point they should not reach.
Lessons of a broken soul, but I'm missing you to teach.
Living on this earth but going through a hell.
No more future mom, only memories to tell.

Hopefully you'll change mom, back to what is you.
I cant stand the pressure, soon it will get through.
All I want is for you to see the place in my heart that died.
Without you mom there's nothing, that's where my life subsides.