It\'s nothing but the tears. be strong with every rejection, every \"series of unfortunate events\". i think that was a movie. sh!t happens anyway. why are my eyes so open, yet it\'s so blind to see that this people are already hurting me. why oh why do i have to hug them and shrug my shoulder everytime they devastate me. why can\'t i stop loving them? why does my heart flows with happiness, yet filled with doubt. why do i have to hide the pain and write them down anyways. i am so fcked. what will i do. been living for 19 years, independence, freedom, maturity, success, what else could i ask for? i have friends who care for me, and love me, and cherish me, who thinks i\'m a hero. i\'m a sweetheart. i don\'t want them to hope for me the best and can\'t do what they want to see that i am doing. once again i turned my back. i have to. i am hurting. it\'s hard for me to endure. a little more time please. i will be alright. i need a little more time. feet walking on clouds and imaginary people partying around. the volume of my ipod on it\'s maximum and heart beats with every strike on the drums. lub dub di la da. what the heack am i doing. if only it\'s not selfish to..... never mind. nevermind.
