Losing a loved one

There were times when you don't know when it will hit,maybe today,tomorrow,next week or next year. the point is that it comes without warning and the effect of it is too much to bare.once when it hits you,a lot of things rush through the mind like"i can't believe they are gone? i don't want to believe it? they are just sleeping and will awake shortly,right? and then comes denial and finally sadness.there are days where you wish that the ones you love will come back and that they are okay. other times you blame yourself for them departing from this world and you still feel that state of shock where you know that they are not coming back.you try to forget but your heart won't let you and so you keep grieving over their death and when you are by yourself,you wish it was you that had died and not them.to let go of someone who has been in your life for so long, it's not the easiest thing to do and telling yourself that they are in a better place and that one day you will see them again is a lot harder to admit.the best thing to do would be to keep them in your memory and to try to move on with your life because that is what they want you to do and that in spirit,they will always be by your side and watching over you until the day it is your turn to come home.