Comments : My solitude

  • 18 years ago

    by Lost & Delirious

    I think the message of this poem is so original, sincere, and well described. I really loved your title, it caught my attention, and the ending was perfect.

    "There is solitude who beats me up inside, for every time intimacy closens up I give up a part of myself, a part of my solitude. "

    I think you could improve your poem by using a different structure. And I think the repetition of "forget" doesn't work well.

    Anyway, you can leave your poem as it is, I usually don't change my poems once they're written. I just keep the advice on my mind the next time I'm writing a poem.

    You can send me a private message if you want any help. =)

    Good job!

    Keep writing.

    XoXo
    Gaby