This is so nice..i luv it:)

Amazing word choice, wow. The rhyme scheme was unique from most of the poetry I have read on this site, and your use of metaphors was wonderful.

The only thing I would suggest is changing the word 'eye' in the second line to make it plural, because it would not only make sense but it would rhyme better.

Unusual rhyme scheme but i enjoyed it a lot. nice ending stanza! Jpoet*