You Told Me

by Carmen   Sep 11, 2006


You told me you love me,
You told me you care,
You told me I was the one,
You told me you'll always be there.

You told me there's not another girl,
You told me not to worry,
You told me to believe you,
You told me it's not just a story.

You told me to wait,
You told me to smile,
You told me to be happy,
You told me you'd stay for awhile.

You told me it's not what it seems,
You told me lie after lie...
And now I'm telling you,
No longer will your lies and deceit,
Be the reasons for why I cry.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by xxEvilAngelxx

    Awesome poem! I love the repitition of "you told me" and how it stops at the end and changes to "now I'm telling you" The flow could be slightly adjusted in a couple places, but otherwise, excellent job!

    xxEvilAngelxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Minkus

    There's a good element of repitition in this one, which makes the final triplet more powerful than if it was just free verse. I had a suggestion, though. You could make the rhythym better by replacing the final "you told me" in each stanza with another, shorter phrase, one that matches the syllables in the rest of the lines better. Good job, 5/5.

  • 18 years ago

    by Karma Hope

    Oh that was such a good poem, it showed trials and tribulations that couple's go through in a relationship.

  • 18 years ago

    by X2892

    Another excellent poem made by u, 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    Damn i am addin you to my favorties for that if i havent already i am goin through that exact stuff right now so yea i love that poem!

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