It's raining today

March 27, 2005

Who says that I can't make up my mind?

...or make the right choices?

Still, I'm running out of time...

slowly but surely I am.

I try to run but my lungs suffer due to the

cigarette smoke that has consumed me over

the years.

Due to the alcohol abuse and pill popping...

I killed myself over and over again.

Nothing...nothing solved...nothing gained.

Nothing.

Why not turn back and go home?...

home to things that I recognize.

Home to things that made me feel alive...

I'm scared to lose...I wanna win this time.

No more lines of destruction and rivers

that flow of red...

no more oval blue solutions...

or demonic thoughts inside my head...

no more liquid of forgetfulness and

regret...

no more shadows of cancer filled relaxation.

no more...

I try ...I try to forget and move on

but I'm not different...

I'm not saved...not cured...not whole...

no me ...not you...not.

I wanna go home but I've already ran too

far...