Someone I'm Not

I'm looking for special things
Inside of me
trying to find someone
I will never be

And once again
I put on my mask
promising myself
this will be the last

I look into the mirror
glance into my hollow eyes
wondering if they reveal
my life is just lies

I walk into school
not ready to face another day
already wishing it
was gone and away

I walk up to you
put on my fake smile
it's almost perfect because
I've been doing it for awhile

All I have to do is
pretend like I'm fine
I won't tell you my thoughts
or feelings: they're mine

I thought you were my friend,
I thought you would make it alright
you told me not to
but I'm giving up without a fight

I'm so tired of acting
like Someone I'm Not
like a bug in a spiders web,
my emotions are caught

they are building up
screaming to come out
all I can do is
try not to shout

I still don't know
how I get through each day
pretending to be someone I'm not
while the time is flying away