Last goodbye

I sit here wondering,
why i didn't know,
How ill you'd been,
never let it show,

still i suppose it could,
have been the two last years,
when i couldn't see you,
thought I'd cried all my tears

but still were left to come,
red tears too,
seeping from my painful body,
what was i supposed to do?

so much confusion,
and so much hurt,
but i keep the scars hidden,
beneath my shirt,

i feel so guilty,
that i couldn't say goodbye,
that i didn't see your face,
yet i tried to forget and get by,

it's a week now since you died,
and the loss has just hit,
i feel it so strong,
pressing on me like a ton of bricks,

my skins been ripped,
my hearts been torn,
i wish to god,
I'd never been born,

a waste of a life,
no where to belong,
although now i know
what he did was wrong,

your funerals Tuesday,
I'll go and I'll say goodbye,
you were a part of my family,
see these tears for you i cry.