Unwanted

I appreciate this......makes me 'hope' you gave it to him.........

I like that. It's short, but very nice. I like how you only mention that it's too your dad at the end too.

Hmm ... Try to make it longer to explain more about the emotions that yur feeling . It`ll make the poem much better . But it has a nicee thing about it .
I digg what this poem is saying .
Altho the last stanza kinda left me hanging.
But nice job otherwise .
..ღ__MiNDYY

I totally understand the poem. It has a great concept, but it's lacking emotion and feeling. You need to dig deep. I have a few suggestions and I hope that they do not upset you.

1) You should be more descriptive on why you miss him so much.

2) I noticed in the last stanza that you wrote:What if you can't see us?
You should explain somewhere before the last stanza who is the us.

But please don't get discourage because a lot of times when I write I make the same mistakes or worse mistakes. But the thing that I like about those mistakes is when I get comments and people tell the truth . This would be a excellent poem if you look into fixing those few mistakes. It has a good concept, and a nice flow. I give you a 4/5. Keep working at it . I will be checking back with you to see how your coming along.

Best wishes
Letty

Beautiful poem, i feel you in this poem, dad sometimes is always to busy too.