Comments : Lost in this world

  • 18 years ago

    by ellewen

    I love it~ But I have a little advice. On the third line down, I think the word here, should be changed to there because it rhymes more and it still makes sense. Just a little thing I would suggest. I still give it a 5!

  • 17 years ago

    by ajda

    Great work the line "forgetting what it was like before my smile became a lie,' really stands out