Aww what a sad, but beautifully written poem.. I loved the way You put short verses inbetween the long ones [sorry for the use of words there] It flowed brilliantly, and the rhythmn was excellent.. well done 5/5 xx

I like this line

Empty heart,
Pulled apart,
While he passed,
It went so fast.

wow this was so sad and great poem. just keep on writing all what u feel great job!4/9

It never ceases to amaze me how well you youngsters can write poetry
A brilliant job I love the way you put short verses in between maybe you should write song lyrics

5/5
John

For someone so young, your a very good poet.

Very interesting...
Good choice of words
with verygood lines on it.
Excellent!
5/5

A WOW poem

Wow..nicely written..really sad though..sorry about your loss =[ Keep it upp =]

xXx Melly xXx

Very well written, flows so very well,whitch brings the sad theme of it very well over,
well done, keep it up:)

Straight from the heart, I love it! :D

So sad. really really sad. u have expressed alot of emotion in ths poem. its realy good. you have show natural talent with it. i like it. 5/5.
love willow xxoo

That was very well written. I loved the flow and emotion put into this piece. Nicely done, and god bless.

This poem is AWESOME! how can n e one NOT give you a 5/5? Rhyming was great, everything flowed together very smoothly....
fav stanzas are the short ones.... very good..
5/5

Awhh, you poor thing.. This was a very sad poem.. The flow was good and I liked how you had the smaller stanzas in between.. Very nicely done sweetie, and keep your chin up! 5/5

Very, raw in emotion. So powerful and it leaves this lingering sadness within you after you have finished reading it. It just sits and stays with you. I love it. The poem that is. Lol.

As well as many of the other people that commented, i also love how you used shorter stanza's between the longer ones. It flowed nicely together. Such emotion put into this poem, i can really feel it. I'm sorry for your loss. Keep up the great work. 5/5

Woooowwww. Made so much more personal and touching knowing it's based on truth. You have my deepest wishes. it was a beautifully grievious poem with fantastic use of literature and great flow. nicely polished. dark and smooth. loved it. 5/5
-Suzie J
xoxo

That is an excellent poem..deff 5/5
The flow was really good and the meaning went right to the heart:)
Fantastic job:)

Wow, this poem was so touching, it was very well written by a great poet, keep up the great work

Wow ur poem is beyond words its so good

Wow ur poem is beyond words its so good