Gazing at her blade....

So many nights she sits gazing at her blade,
Its been so long since we last connected
So long since she felt that rush
That feeling deep inside of relief.
But those nights became so long,
And she's faced with should she or not.
Its been 5 months
Pain filled yet able to pull through,
Why now does she feel this needing?
Why now does she place it to her hand and pull?
If it cuts she succeed yet she fails too.
Blood starts to flow, tears begin to show,
What has she done, gone back to her old way?
Its just a little cut but will it cause a lot of pain?
Crimson drops fall upon the sheets,
Blood stained tears cascade down her cheeks.
So many hurtful nights listened to by her razor
So long ago it was a way of life
Now a way of pain and relief
But what good will it bring her?