I understand

The eyes owned by the women on her deathbed.
they are my own.
i have seen and felt things people in my years haven't.
love
hope
compassion
fear
but most pain.
she doesn't understand the hurt she has caused.
caused deep down.
the place you hurt the most.
she can feel the pain caused by herself
but it would be no different.
she will never understand.
when you truly don not care for another, you can never understand pain.
but i do thank her.
when you have felt so much pain you mature beyond your years.
so i understand.
i understand in the years you need to the most.
i understand.
the scars you can leave behind.

*this is a poem about my mom who chose "the drug" over my family. (my mom is and ice addict)