Stay or go

I hate myself, but i have to stay i cant let my family suffer that way, but will they even cry for me, does it really take suicide to make them see?

should i stay or should i go, with this life i just don't know, with a rope tied to my bed, or with a bullet through my head.

I'll jump in a river if i dare, doing all this shit so you will care. to throw myself in front of a car, i can't believe I'd go this far.

i really don't want to give up and quit, but i don't think i can handle this shit... i can't believe the thoughts in my head, i seriously don't wish to be dead.

sometimes i really love my life, and sometimes i want to grab a knife....

should i stay or should i go... with this life i just don't know!!