Fade Away (About Rape)

Watch the days fade away...
As it gets closer to a year...
17 days away...
And I still remember plain and clear...

The unzipping of the tent...
The whisper of hate in your voice..
"Turn over, pull down your pants"
You said..."I had no choice"

My vision was blurry at first
I had been drunk and passed out
But you startled me awake
With your harsh; whispering shouts

You kissed me on my lips
I repeated the word "no"
But no matter how hard I fought
There was no place to go

you told me you loved me
And you played with my hair
But in reality
We both knew you didn't care

You were still in the tent
When you heard people walking
So you left me there alone
And told them we were just talking

I laid in the tent
Crying to myself
I felt so disgusting; so used
Like no one could help

The next morning I woke up
I had never felt so gross
Then you hugged me goodbye
And whispered "I love you most"

Ever since that night
Nothing has been the same
Everything is different
My life has forever changed

There is the constant paranoia
And lack of trust for any guy
And fear that someone will see
Straight through my lie

Watch the days fade away...
As it gets closer to a year...
17 days away...
And I still remember plain and clear..

*I wrote this a while ago.. It was a year Sunday the 17th of September since this happened to me, but I'm doing a lot better now I suppose(