First off Alfie, it's a poem. Get over it. Jesus. - -

Second, This needs alot of work Hun. I like the concept of it, but it's not really a dark poem. It is more of a depressive poem. It's okay as it is right now, I have a few tips that might make it flow and sound better. You can choose or not choose to use them.

Origanal Poem:
"Slowly I take them,
I press them against my arm,
Slowly I cut myself deeper,
So with these sissors I take my life,
Or maybe I will just have fun,
Re-live my pain for a few morw days,
Sissors simply yet deadly they will help me take my life! "

Re-Done Poem:
"I slowly take them within my hand,
Pressing them delicately to my skin,
Slowly, I cut myself deeper.
With these scissors, I shall take my life,
Or maybe I'll just have some fun,
Re-live my pain for a few more days,
These scissors so simple yet deadly, shall take my life."

Heh, anyway. I gave you a five. It was a good start, just needs work. Hope you didn't find my advice to harsh.

I loved the emotion in this one. It is very true, to most people. I liked the flow you put toward it, as well as the heart. Nice work, truly. I will look out for more poems. =)

I agree with L your V, the poem is a little bit emo for for me and i dont really see where comingg from screenplay when you say its true to most people but i guess thats just not the way i roll. good start

I like the emotions in this one.