My Vision

by Letty   Sep 20, 2006


As I sit in soundless time
gazing out the window
my life flashing before my eyes
I see the person I was and now the person I am to become
The visions that play before me
so sorrowful my soul they make go numb

I would never have predicted
such a grotesque future
and had forgotten most of my past
my present already clear to me
but still it makes me sad

My vision it goes blurry
the tears begin to streak
I think my time is nearing it's end
but my soul won't accept defeat

I'm so afraid inside I'm lost
and don't know what to do
a wise woman said
let go receive God
he will see you through

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  • 18 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Im going to do the last 4 tomorrow, b/c i have to get off. and do homework. =]

  • 18 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Ok nice poem very cool aobut finding God an such.

    *4th line- needs a break/comma before and please lose the 'now'

    *6th line- the wording is confusing, so please rearrange it or add a break/comma. its hard to understands because of the backword desciptions.

    **AHH~!~ SAD! DONT EVER USE SAD!!!!
    or mad, bad, glad, good etc. no 3 letter words!! especially ones that end with AD!!
    ~~ i understand you did this to rhyme but it sounds forced and childish, and actually dumb. the first stanza doesn't even seem to rhyme that mcuh so it isnt needed to rhyme anyways. soi reccomend you replace SAD with a better more adult word.-depressed maybe?

    *4th stanza 2nd line- too Wahh, boo hoo it all sucks.. .. i dont know what to do. boo hoo.. lol. maybe- need guidance for my future? see how it sounds more adult and less like whining?

    but a great poem very deep and emotive. =]]

    x.x:Lauren ~5|5

  • 18 years ago

    by Arsalan D

    Very beautiful poem. This is so incredibly true when there is total silence and you are aware and can hear/sense the air going past your hear. When its that quite and your by yourself I find it impossible not to wonder about life and how you fit in this great puzzle. You think about your past and the direction your going, and how different it is then you imagined 10 years ago through all this thinking the only answer is god and the sensation of knowing everything is in His hands.

    Very Beautiful Poem

    Arsalan D.

  • 18 years ago

    by Lovely Bones

    "I think my time is nearing it's end"

    ^ That line read a little awkward for me. Maybe if you took off 'it's end' it would flow much easier :)

    I do love the message in this poem, however. I thought it was very well written. i think we all feel hopeless sometimes, yet God is always there to help us.

    That you so much for all the encouraging comments you have left on my poems! It feels great that someone is always behind me to watch me grow in what I love doing best! I hope everything's ok, and that you get better soon :)

    Love
    Sarah-Joy

  • 18 years ago

    by Arsalan D

    Thank you so much for commenting on my poems I really appreciate it and i enjoyed reading your interpretation. You are an awesome poetess and i really enjoy reading your poems you are on my favorite list.

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