Me and My Life

I hate life as it is now.
I do what others demand, time after time.
If i question or ignore what I'm told,
the punishment is severe!
I do the work of a man i have never met.
i get paid little to risk my life and leave my family.
and this is only my job I'm talking about!
im a nice guy who is always forgotten.
average at everything but great at nothing.
always in debt, yet always spending.
forever single and always looking.
easily seduced and easily heart-broken.
constantly trying to fit in but never succeeding.
will i always be alone? only time will tell.
im shy and lacking in confidence.
i trust everyone yet i trust no one.
i fall in love too easy, but am not easy to fall in love with.
i give away my heart only to have it taken.
i give and give! and what do i receive? nothing!
i cant live like this. something has to change.
whether i find a way to leave my job, or i find a way to feel nothing.
maybe i just look for a way to leave this world....?