This Place Is Not My Home

Can't you hear it?
The sound of my heart dying
Can't you feel it?
The endless tears I've been crying

The pain never stops
It never goes away
It haunts me on and on
And you made it worse today

You attack me with your lectures
You tell my father lies
Then turn around and say you love me
But I see through your disguise

You never were a mom to me
And I doubt you ever will
Because you don't give a crap
Of how much of my blood I spill

You were never there for me
Though you were a reason I cried
You never once called me pretty
So from you I choose to hide

You always compared my sister and I
And she always won in the end
I honestly don't care for you
But for the family's sake I'll pretend

I really tried to love you
But you made it way too hard
You talked me out of getting help
So blame yourself for me being scarred

But it came from more than you
You were just another
Person to add to my insanity
You, my own step-mother

No it also came from the guilt
Of things I didn't do wrong
It came from the failed attempts
Of trying to be strong

I can't stop it, it's too late
I let it get out of hand
It's consumed all happiness within me
I guess it's what the devil planned

Too much stress ate me up inside
People killed my dreams
No one even realizes
My life isn't as it seems

Day after day I'm frustrated
And sometimes I want to cry
Or sometimes I'm just plane angry
And every night I wonder why

I guess it came from this place
This darkness, this shame
This world of unspoken sadness
That I have come to obtain

And still I'm left to wander
In the darkness, all alone
Searching for something better
Because this place is not my home.

*sorry if any of this was confusing, but I was really upset and needed to vent...hope you still like it..