It started....

Know i must have been so busy with life...

that i seemed to forgot u Lord.

I am afraid that I might have done something to be punished.

I fear of so many things....

I am not ready to face the struggles

and pain destiny had put on me.

I am not bad nor good,

but I believe I am a normal person

capable of doing things beyond your consent

or just like a normal kid who make mistakes in life

but tried her best to move on and go on with her life.

Sometimes at night,

I cried like a child, helplessly.

I want someone to cry on....

but just could not admit to myself

that I am not as strong as I want to portray....

and I'm afraid

that they would feel more helpless

and afraid than me...

so I have to be strong.

But lately, proof tells me .....

I am not really strong...

I might be strong emotionally...

but physically I am not.

I feel like a candle starting to melt down....

and it makes me so afraid.. to be dying this young.

allenmed08182006