Yesterday When the Sky Was Blue

by sibyllene   Sep 21, 2006


Yesterday
when the sky was blue like hope,
and it had a cloud folded in it
like a dancing Chinese dragon,
and yellow eye-shaped leaves played
tic-tac-toe on the wet pavement,
and the frost in the grass
was shot through with bursts of sun,
I wrote you a love letter in
the steam from my breath in the air.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Supertramp

    A Poem you should be justly proud of. Descriptive flowing a breath of fresh air, and and, no that's it, well done!

  • 18 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Lovely.

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Awe that was so gosh darn cute hun. I loved it. 5/5 =]]

    -Jenna.

  • 18 years ago

    by Lovely Bones

    I thought it had wonderful descriptions and the feeling was there, but honestly I was a bit distracted by all the 'ands' at the beginning of the sentences. Actually, the whole poem seemed to be one looong sentence and I didn't really know what was going on. Maybe you could edit it a little bit, like take out some of the words that don't really need to be there and break it down into proper sentences. I'm not going to re-write the whole poem for you to make an example, because I hate it when people do that to me; it's your poem, but hopefully you know what I mean. I think this could be a really great poem :)

    Take Care and God Bless,
    Sarah Joy

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    Wow.. Imagery in this was amazing.. The flow was pretty good although it had a few awkward bits.. But the imagery was really great, I could picture everything you described.. Wow, nicely done sweetie! 5/5

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