Painful break up

I feel this pain inside,
and every time i look at you,
and my wrists i hide.
I think of the night before,
and i think of that knife,
wow what a beauty to adore.
it brings me pain,
but yet again happiness.
if you feel the same,
then tell me so,
so many things i must know.
i know the way I'll die,
and thanks to nick,
i know why.
the hatred i feel toward him,
is coming out big time.
but what if then,
i were to die,
i wonder,
would anyone cry?
it's not as bad as I'm feeling now,
so i take my leave,
i take my final bow.
This life was never meant to be,
and nick,though i love you,
from my death,i wish for your misery.