Apathetic [Acrostic]

by Tammie   Sep 23, 2006


An emotionless figure sits alone in a chair
Personality of a robot, he doesn't have a care
Accessory to a crime, a heartless kill
Torture, rape, suffocation; of his own free will
He murdered his daughter, helps and observes
Experiencing something a little girl doesn't deserve
The cell doors close with a bang, locked for years
Is that a good enough punishment? Not even a remedy for tears
Concluding his own daughter's life, for this in shame he should die.

* This is my first Acrostic, so any critique would be apreciated alot. Thanks. =] And i just want add that if you are going to rate it a 1, like someone has, could you please tell me how i can improve it, or what i did wrong. Otherwise it defeats the purpose. Thanks. *

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Acrostic Poetry is where the first letter of each line spells a word, usually using the same words as in the title.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Freddie

    For ur first acrostic that was fantastic! I cud neva rite lyk that! well done!!

  • 18 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    Another nice poem!
    soooo sad :(
    cant imagine what her dad did...
    keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by LOVEmeNOT

    O god da 1st 3 lines remind me of my ex-bf!...dat was how he was...lol...ne wayz i really liked dis 1ne...i have/see no problems with it...5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by shadowlight

    THis is a great peice... I often dis-like Acrostics, finding them very forced and rough, but this peice had none of these problems flowing well throughout with good progression

    5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Bridgette

    This is very well written. I didn't even realize it was an acrostic until I got done reading it and read your little note on the bottom... which pretty much means you did an amazing job on it, it wasn't all chopped up and didn't sound like you were just putting words together to form the acrostic. And the poem in itself was very sad, but very well written. Great job on this! 5/5

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