Thats extremely sad. I'm sorry for your loss. You wrote this poem so well for such a sad event. Pure emotion and sadness was expressed clearly. Nice write. Keep your head high. =]

Absolutely beautiful sad poem you penned here, sorry for your lost, my thought, myprayer goes out to her family...

Umm im agree with tammie and shadowspoet only i see the number 4 and how if you try to make it a word not a symbol or instead of 4 make it four

but then this is a sad and great poem

geneross

I like this one, but maybe you could work on the flow of it a little bit. It kind of seems like some of the thoughts are just lines that aren't entirely related strung together in poetic form. Keep up the good work though! :)

Ok, i will change 4 to four. and ill try to make it flow easier. thank you for the critique.