Why can't I just believe?

Sitting in the library
Looking for a book
A chance upward glance
Caught your fleeting look

Chest pounding like a drum
Setting me on fire
You just standing there
Fueling my desire

Slipping into panic mode
Eyes play peek-a-boo
Unsure whether to hide
Or show myself to you

Blond hair cropped short
Trim and shaped perfect
Wish I had your clothes sense
Weird garments that I select

Amazing vision of beauty
Heart stolen by infatuation
Paralyzed I cannot move
Mind locked in hesitation

Feeling tingly all over
Captivated by your sight
Frozen, locked to my seat
Rabbit in a head light

Could you love me too?
Do you share my sexuality?
Is it really meant to be?
Am I just an abnormality?

Time ticks on forever
You get up to leave
Smile as you go past
Why can't I just believe?

Had I misread things
Imagined in all the confusion
Victim of my adrenaline
Lost in the delusion

Where had you gone?
Feel like screaming out loud
Tears flow down my cheeks
Hopes lost in a crowd