I think there are some details in here that really add dimension to the poem - like the vacancy sign at the hotel. you said something without saying it obviously. woo! i also liked the whole repetition of things that were lacking. a card never read, a story never said....

about the flow and rhythm - you started out in the first stanza with a specific count, but that was broken in the last line of the second stz. and for the rest of the poem. if you wanted to keep the same amount of syllables, there are some words in lines that you could take out to shorten them, but still keep the meaning. (ex. you could take out "there's a bottle of" and just leave "champagne she never shared with you," and i think it would still make sense.)

i hope this helped!

Wow, agn a very good poem, agn images are very distinct, feelz like as a responder, i am a a helpless bystander, i esp like the first two lines of the third stanza,

Her bags are packed and are waiting by the door,
As the taxi driver honks his horn out on the street,

this i feel, prolongs the sense of empathy for the persona, very well done, keep it up, cheers

'Whitey...

This was very beautiful. I felt the emotion in every line. I loved the details and choice of words.