You said

by Brittany C   Sep 27, 2006


You told me that you loved me,
that you would never hurt me
and promised you would always be there.

I can't believe I thought you loved me
one of a few I could trust,
someone I could give my heart to.

You said nothing would come between us.
together we would always be,
you would never love anyone else
the way you loved me.

That was not truth,
you lied to me.
Making promises
that you never meant to keep.

I trusted you for to long
now you are gone,
you left for another girl,
now I am alone in the world,
without anyone to hold on to,

You said you would always be there for me,
but no, it just wasn't meant to be was it?
I still cant believe you did this.

You lied causing deep pain,
cutting deep in to my heart.
You said you would never leave,
but you did now I am forever sad.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    This was good, the flow wasn okay and the structure being free style was okay too, I thought this was a little cliche but otherwise was good.
    Love
    Tara

  • 15 years ago

    by Mister 47

    Um i love free style poetry but i am more into the rhyming ones , they give more intention and reflect more stability to the poem

    but anyway the expression was good ,
    and it seem from profound feelings

    if you dont know yet , love hurt , but in most case we dotn care !!
    and yes what hurt the msot is to love somone that dont love you back !
    never leave is a fantasy !! unless some realistic things are made from both of you !!

    i think you should know that !!

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Cara

    I do like it, but i do agree with the other comments. the poem does lack some poetic devices, however it is still very good.

  • 17 years ago

    by Vanessa

    You expressed all that you felt except the emtion, it was a little bare, the word choice was simple but not as effective as it could be, the flow was a little off, But I liked what you were trying to say, the first staza has one too many yous in it, you should delete one, and the 4th stanza with out should be one word without. Other than that you did a good job 4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    Okay, this was cliche -- and it just didn`t work .

    You you told me that you loved me,
    that you would never hurt me,
    and promised you would always be here,
    I can't believe I thought you loved me
    ` The "ee" sound gets annoying after a while . You kept ending sentences with "me" throughout the poem . Along with the phrase "you loved me." It got kind of old and just ruined it .

    It just wasn`t great . I can see what you`r saying, and it`s straight out, which I like, but the poem was just ... empty .
    ..__MiNDYY

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