I thought this poem was good, but it could be better. A lot of grammar was mis-used, or incorrect. The word 'Your' in most of the places you are putting it should be 'You're.' 'Your' means that it's someone's possession. 'You're' means that 'You are' something. There's a huge difference. Try reading it over and fixing the incorrect places. A lot of the grammar threw me off in a lot of places.

Other than that, I thought it was ok. It was catchy, lovey dovey, and cute. =P I know where you're coming from. =) Keep it up. 4/5 xoxo

Samantha
PS: So sorry it took so long to read these! I totally forgot about the post!