Inside The Walls

Do you know,
What's been done to me?
Broken into a million pieces,
Don't you see?
Can't you heal me before I cease to exist?

Can't you mend,
my shattered soul?
But I'm afraid, so I send you away
I push you away from me.

You're to kind,
It makes me sorry.
How is it that you never mind
when I lean on you?

You call me strong
not knowing that inside I'm trembling.
Everything's all wrong.

Can't you see the wrongness of it all?
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
It's such a long way down to fall,
tumbling down into the void.

You say I'm good, you call me kind
It's so wrong for you to say that to me
Don't you see the darkness streaking my mind?
leaving me cold and dirty

This isn't how I pictured it, every thing's
so wrong, I'm tumbling head over heels into darkness
Do you know this sweet lullaby? Do you hear how it sings?

It's a song
of remembered pain
and it's so wrong
as I try
to be strong

I'm so lost
IN the wrongness of it all
But what's the cost
of pretending?

Pretending to be
utterly and completely
free.
But trapped inside a cage of memories

I'm so confused
my heart racing
Thinking about the things I could lose
With just one misstep, mistake

What happens if someday you hate me?
I don't think I could bear the pain
What if you stopped caring for me?
The pain would swallow me whole

So please be patient with me
until I find level ground
Please be patient until I can finally breathe
on my own.