Unbearable pain buried,
beneath my fake smiles.
Unshed tears taunting,
my one strong eye.

Memories of you,
constantly haunt my dreams.
And when reality hits me,
nothing is what it seems.

I watched you fall for her,
as I fell for you once before,
Taking away everything,
I ever loved or knew.

Maybe you should try that?

but the poem its self is really good.
i like it =]. keep writing 5/5

You need to comb it over for grammar/spelling errors first if you want it to flow right. One should be once etc.

Other wise it was a pretty okay poem. I think you could have added more emotional descirptions to make it stand out though. We don't want ot know sometimes we want to feel it. Meaning, don't just say broken hearts never heal. Put that into emotions, poetic words, anything to make th reader truley feel the message. : )

Beautiful sad penned, writing with beautiful emotions....

Excellent job. Your poem started okay but the last two stanzas were amazing. Keep it up

Aww. I can totally relate. If you wanna talk, I ish here. =) xoxo

[I watched you fall for her,
As I have fallen for you
Taking away everything
I ever loved or knew]

^^ I liked that stanza loads! It had loads of emotion, it flowed well, and I can relate. It's hard when someone moves on. Keep that chin up. I'll be waiting to hear about Mr. Right. =) 5/5 xxoo

Samantha

Wow, a sad one but a true one, i really like this poem as i can relate to it, very nicely writte, a 5/5 from me.

This is such a good poem,the words chosen perfectly matched the theme and it flows well as well,and the great thing about this poem is that many out there can relate,truly with this one..

good work.

keep on writing on what you feel and like.

God Bless!

I think this is a very very good poem! You did well! The flow was good, and the emotions throughout the whole poem were expressed well. I don't think you could improve that anymore, it's very good. Keep it up. =] 5/5

Very well done, indeed. The flow was exceptional. Such a heartfelt write. Especially liked this stanza:

Memories of you
Constantly haunt my dreams
And when reality hits,
Nothing is what it seems

Keep up the good work.

Hey great poem, you have done a great job with the rhyming.
the only thing i would say is that the stanza, has the 3 word end with words that rhyme, but one doesn't and it seems a little out of place. it great anyway though.
5/5
love Mel

5/5!! i was so touched... i loved your last stanza... its my favorite and it really captured me... love it so much... im feeling this same way right now... so i can really relate... keep writing!

~angel~

I really liked this poem. I thought you got across your message really clear. Sooner or later everyone finds themselves in this situation. Thought it was brilliant. Chin up.
(5/5)
Kelly
xx

I am going to be honest... I immediately thought.. 'Good god, not another break-up poem..' But this is amazing. I loved it...and there is nothing more I can say. The rhyming and rhythm was perfect...the way you wrote of the topic, excellent..

xDarkSuicidex 5.5

I like it because that's how i truely feel and it relate to me!!

This poem i can realate to it!

This poem i can realate to it!

Wow, i really like that

Wow great poem you're very talented poet keep it up!

The ending is gr8. lov is sad. keep writing:)